Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
