A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
