I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
