She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
