if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
