It's like God shit irony all over that family
home. puking in laundry basket.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
