I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
