I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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