ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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