If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
No subtext here. People are naked.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
