Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
