White coat. Heels.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
