At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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