Sry I called you an 8
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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