seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
