from now on my penis is your penis
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize