It's Friday. Sex?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize