He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
