I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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