She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
