Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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