I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
