She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
