I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
