im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
