Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
