Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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