Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
