Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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