my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
