marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
