They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
