Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
