someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
