what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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