i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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