I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize