i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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