hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
