I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize