The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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