I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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