We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
