we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
