How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
