Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
