i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
