can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize