whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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