you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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