If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
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