Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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