I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
