I hate all girls vehemently.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
