I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
