My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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